Today was Father's Day. I suggested to my family that we go see Pixar's Up. I already saw it and loved. I still loved it the second time. My parents liked it so I was happy.
I was going to make red velvet cupcakes for my dad, because he loves them, but we all just never had the time. I just wanted to make my dad happy because I love him and he's been sad lately. His job has definitely been stifling him for years. When I'm not home, I don't know if he's doing okay. Lately, I thought he was fine at work, but my mother has been telling me some depressing things. I don't know if everything's okay or if everything will turn out okay. I can't change anything in his business world. I just don't want his life to turn out to be like Death of a Salesman. Of course there are plenty of enough differences in life for my father to ever be like Willy Loman, but when I see the similarities I get terribly sad. Maybe it's just me thinking of possible outcomes...and sometimes I just blame the job of being a businessman.
"He's a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine....A salesman is got to dream, boy." -Death of a Salesman
I didn't know what to buy my dad....I didn't wind up buying him anything and I feel like a bad daughter. I know my father doesn't think that so why does it matter so much? Why am I trying to prove my love to him all in this one made-up holiday? It doesn't have to be that way. I love him and he knows it. Still...
I wound up making him angel food cake with strawberries and blueberries. Everyone liked it. I just wish I could make him happy.
"I just wanted to know what to buy my dad because I love him. And I don't know him. And he doesn't like to talk about things like that." -The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Btw, I'm really enjoying that book. I just want to hug Charlie.
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