Figures

Figures after all these years of loving you/hating you, I finally got over myself and accept you and goddammit I love you and am trying to get past everything that ever bothered me about you and just be kind.

And...perhaps I should stop creeping...ignorance is bliss...but yeah, she doesn't feel loved. She's happier far away with different friends. Well I'm not the one forcing her to hang out with me. I just don't know what she wants anymore.

I admit that I was a mean person to her in the past. I really feel ashamed of that. But I did have my own reasons, it wasn't just to be mean or anything like that. Anyway, to me it is all in the past. And I know she doesn't feel appreciated so I've been trying....

but I haven't been able to devote myself fully. I have such doubts. Well first of all, I am very disturbed by with what's going on right now at my life at home...my dad has been having problems at work. I think it's the last straw...anyway, I'll right more about that later. I'm terribly sad about that and still have to come to terms with it.

So yeah I can't focus entirely on our friendship. I've been having weird/ little freakouts everyday lately because of my own life. And I need comforting. But I'm afraid to ask anyone now. I think all these years I might've been taking and never giving anything back in return. It's kinda like the Boy who cried wolf thing, but then again not at all.