I'm totally half in denial/ half upset and accepting of my grandmother's health.

It's not looking to good.

I'm writing her a card tomorrow and painting a sunflower. We used to go and walks and look at the sunflowers.

Um...but this is something she's accepting of.

and that fact makes me fear death less. I think it's less scary, when it's your time to go.

It still is sad.

And I still fear dying just because there's so much I want to do.