I know

I know I'm mostly crazy, but still...

I wish I had appreciated times in the past more between my friends and I.

Nothing's radically different nowadays, it's just a mentality change.

I don't know. I used to feel that all my friends genuinely enjoyed my company and would want me to be there with them in certain situations. I often was invited to things.

Now I feel....left out.

And I feel like they don't care either way if I'm there or not.

I guess I wish I never placed such a high importance on friends because I've only been let down lately.

I don't remember always associating them with my happiness, but I suppose I always did.

It's stupid though...real happiness has to come from inside myself.

I also just want adventure and new experiences. I'm restless. I'm determined to change, but the change I want is always harder to obtain the change that happens in life that I never asked for.

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences." -quoted in the movie Into the Wild