I won't be afraid just as long as you stand by me

re·sent·ment

n. Indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance. Sometimes, it helps me to look up exact definitions of words. I was just trying to make sure I was using the word resentment correctly and apparently I am. I resent all my roommates. This could all be "real" or "imagined," I'm never able to tell. I just wish people would stand by me...and I don't think I'm making up the fact that these people who are supposed to like me don't give a shit. I can get over the fact that two of these people, I've only known for a year. But I've known Amanda for seven years. She's supposed to be loyal. Instead, her, Kate and Sara are all really close and they all don't care about me. Why does this happen? It makes me so upset. Besides the fact that I'm living with people who are cold to me, only me and nice to everyone else, it hurts because I feel betrayed. Or rather, wrongfully abandoned. I try not to think about it, but I guess I think about this every day. Maybe I should just try to stop thinking about it altogether. Maybe, it's real, but I'm exaggerating it. And if I can focus on other things, I'll be happier in general....and the happiness will be coming from myself... and then maybe through all of this, they won't treat me badly anymore, if I'm overall in a happier state...and maybe I should just get to the point where they don't affect me that way. I always feel that the people that are the most successful are the ones who don't let people or things bother them. I mean that in the broad sense because I know we all get bothered...but I think I'm bothered by many things. I'm sensitive. I want to change. I want to change. I want change. Positive change. I know it will all work out in the end. I just feel lost and alone. The only thing I'm sure of in my life right now is animation...and I'm not even that good at it...I just know I want to do better. So...how do I change? Or accept change from outside sources?