sometimes

Sometimes I worry that I'm not getting everything across...let me try to explain this. I feel like I have so much I want to share with the world...comforting, sweet, ideas...fun ideas, beautiful things...I dunno. I was watching Pixar's Up and I fall in love with it more each time. Just how they presented the characters with such charm. I just feel like I want to present those things too...and either I'm not doing it right or I don't have as many charming ideas as I thought I did...

Lately I feel like my teachers are telling me I have a lot of potential. That I'm capable of being amazing. This is both good and bad. I guess I just want to be amazing now and I don't know how to. I'm struggling. I just feel like something's not clicking...and hopefully one day it will all make sense? But is it that easy?

I just don't know.

Hope

I wrote this in 10th grade in high school. Some things never change.

"A very important word to me is hope. I think we all must have hope, cherish hope and never let it go. I've come to realize that when everything is hitting and chipping at me, hope keeps me sane. Hope is easily clichéd, but it is important. I want to leave this world knowing that hope actually was a good thing. I want to tell people to have hope, even if everything doesn't always go right. To dream about something to come can be difficult, but I find it so worth it instead of living in pessimism thinking nothing will ever get better. Maybe one day that boy will like you. Maybe one day you'll feel complete again (even though all your loved ones are gone). I hope to become a better person as I grow up. I wrote a poem once perfectly describing myself; I always felt that I was "Vulnerable, not beautiful," but I hope one day that I can change. The thing is, for me it's hard to just dream and not do anything about it. When I hope, I drive myself to try to achieve what I am dreaming about. Some things are more difficult to attain, but just that feeling that everything is within reach if you want it enough is a comforting thing to me."

hope

Out there
There's a world outside of Yonkers
Way out there beyond this hick town, Barnaby
There's a slick town, Barnaby
Out there
Full of shine and full of sparkle
Close your eyes and see it glisten, Barnaby
Listen, Barnaby...

summer in the city

It appears that I will be spending the summer in Boston!

I'm definitely going to work at the library here :) Now I just have to see if I can get an internship...