and no

And now for no particular reason, I do not feel good. I feel fairly negative. Gah!


Where's that happiness?

Well these feelings are no good and I'm going to try really hard to feel content again...because why should I worry?

strange and beautiful

I feel really happy/content these past few days. I have no idea why. There's nothing that special happening. Trust me, I have a lot of school work and stuff to worry about, but I just feel good.

I think for once everything might start working...I don't know.


I'm turning 20 on Saturday. Maybe I'll finally start acting mature or something.

In any case, I'm feeling pretty good...and I hope it stays this way :)

people they ain't no good at all

There's so many things I could say to you in a letter, but I can't summarize all that I feel. It is a very difficult task. I finally realized this much however. I don't miss you. I don't need you. You are not truly my friend.

You have made me act horrid this past semester and made me very upset. I now know that if I hadn't invested so much time last semester worrying about our fucked up friendship, I could've been focusing my energy on strengthening good friendships and building new ones. I'm already so much better off right now with you not in my life.


I think you are a selfish, spoiled, rotten person. You are greedy and awful. You don't care about anyone but yourself.

I've done so many crazy things in my head to protect myself from you. To justify myself to you...to try to present to you different ways of saying "You are not doing this right at all."


All of these quotes I have directed towards you and I doubt you even know.

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." -Mark Twain

You are a small person.

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." -Albert Einstein

Your eyes are clearly dimmed.


"I don't blame any of us. We're all concerned, intelligent, good women. It's just that I feel stranded. And I thought the whole point was that we wouldn't feel stranded. I thought the point was we were all in this together." The Heidi Chronicles by Wendy Wasserstein

I thought we were in this together, but you have made it clear that we are not. This used to make me really upset, but now I don't even want you in my life. I know I'm better off without you. This is definitely your loss. I deserve better.

send me on my way

I'm really excited to live somewhere else next year...and by somewhere else I mean, a street over in a new apartment with new people. I need a change, a need a positive atmosphere. I just feel invisible here and unimportant here.

I always feel like there's girls who are respected for being really intelligent...and they are associated with intelligence. And then there's girls who are known as being especially beautiful. And I realized I am not known as either of those things.

Personally, I think I'm beautiful and smart...but I feel like not many people see that.


I guess I just don't know how to fix this. Gah.